Homage

 

Have you ever been thinking about something that just really make you ask what kind of yourself is? 

That thing sometimes haunting me. 

What kind of person are you? 

Most of all the time when I got this question, I always got one answer. 

A Clown. 

Am I? 

Im not sure, but I always think it suits me. 

I hate myself, but I like the other side of it who can make other people laugh. 

And I always wanted it. 

Want to be a bright and happy person who can make everyone laugh. Not just from the outside, but also inside. 

It feels weird when you just laugh for someone else but deep inside you're hating yourself. 

I'm not someone's daughter. 

It hit me so hard. Cause I feel it. 

Unwanted. 

Loveless. 

Need a warm place but no one even care to give it. They didnt even look at you. Not even notice it. 

They were right. Love is everything. 

Its not only about romantic relationship, but sometimes its about family, place, and a warmth. 

When a teenagers busy with their sweet love relationship, Im still here thinking about do I deserve to get a love from someone? 

Did I deserve to exist? 

Why did I even exist in this world? 

What was I made for? 

Sometimes everything just feel fake, and sometimes I just wish all of this is just a dream. 

How weird. 

No one even care to read this. 

Do ya? 

Do I? 

All of this is just a bullshit. 

There's no moral behind this. 

You just wasting your time. 

And so am I. [FA] 

-Jaksn